Bailey: "Mom, at the store Daddy and I saw a black man and you know what?  He had gold on all his teethez"

Me: "Oh, really?  Why?"

Bailey: "Because he didn't brush or floss.  When I go to the dentist I want a gold teethez"

Me: "Bailey, you're funny"

Bailey: "No!  I'm not!  I real serious."

so, i got my hair done and i hate it.  it is nasty and i look like death.  oh, and if you see my picture in the other post and look at me then you'll be just as sad as i am.  it looks nothing like what i wanted....and i'm in the depths of despair....love on me when you see me next.  i need friends.

on a lighter note: i'm really excited that LJ is advertising LoveDrug's new album b/c it is amazing.

it really is ridiculous that i haven't posted in 3 months...i haven't forgotten about LJ and i've had plenty to say and post....i just haven't. lame. i'm also lazy...i have all this stuff in my head and i just haven't felt like writing it all out...it's confusing for me, so i know it will be for you too (assuming people actually read this). that's another thing..i don't think i really care if anyone reads this...i just need to get some things out. for me.

i've been dealing with something for a week. in reality, i've been dealing with it for 18 yrs but i've thought a lot about it this week. DADS. i'm really not sure which is worse : having to go through a loss of a really awesome Dad or never knowing what it is like to have one...is it kinda like it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all...i think so.  if you have a really great Dad you are so blessed; i hope you know it.  If it weren't for this reality I would never have made it - "A father to the fatherless and a judge for the widows, is God in His holy habitation" Ps. 68:5 

this might be uncalled for but my dad is the biggest jerk.  (i could tell story after story of how my dad won the award for biggest jerk but i don't have the time and i'm sure you have other things to do....)  i really want to tell him that because i think in his mind he probably thinks he is a pretty good dad.  he isn't.  but i bet if i had the opportunity to tell him so, i wouldn't....maybe one day i can write a letter.  it really is his loss because i'm awesome...and he has no idea.  

In other, unrelated news...
DOXA (new contemporary service at church) was good and it wasn't because any one person did something extraordinary...it was because God was there. amazing...

i got an A on my first british lit paper...i'm pretty stoked about it because i've heard the professor is extremely hard on grading these things. also, since i am an english major if i suck at writing then what the heck am i doing...so getting an A is a very good thing.

i miss emily averitt, a lot. tell her for me, when you see her.

i need new music...someone help me out. 

i don't care if you think this is lame--->i am turning 25 this year...last year i felt as though life was over when i turned 24...now i'm a 1/4 of a century old.  ew.  April 16th (mark it down, get me something good...if you need to set a loan up with Brandon Hester do it...he's loaded..lol)

i'm leading a group for disciplenow...i'm really excited...between you and me i refuse to talk about sex (even though the theme is purity). it's overdone. i don't want to mess with God's plan but i am really hoping for a certain group of girls and a really awesome house!

i'm trying to lose some weight...not because i'm obsessive but because i need to for my health...i've lost 20 and i need to lose 25 more.  i'm going to this time.  stephen needs a new job...and i have no idea how God is going to provide for us when i have to quit work to go to school full time.  however, it is time i practice what i preach so here goes:  I Cor 1:9a "God is faithful"...i'm going to quit letting myself get down over the hardships of life when i'm trying to do the right thing...i'm hanging on to the promise in this verse.  God is faithful.

hp and the order of the phoenix teaser trailer is up over at the Happy Feet website...its worth a look...yum. :o)

the more i think about last weekend, disciplelife, the more i realize it was really good...it certainly had its up and downs but overall a rather enjoyable experience. the concentration camp style living arrangements were not cool and the food wasn't great...but i think about the time i got to spend away from the day to day where i could focus on God and then growing closer to friends and making a couple of new ones while i was at it was pretty amazing. i was a little sad because of some people that couldn't make it but as i look back on the trip i think it was a good thing that the group was smaller...everyone could be together instead of breaking off. know what i mean? anyway...

next, the Edge....it is going to be stellar....i can't wait.

this morning i sat at my desk and thought about the office and laughed, yes out loud...i couldn't help myself. people (around me here at work on the cube farm) think i am crazy but i don't care. why is the office so clever and funny...i really can't stand it sometimes.

in other, unrelated news...we aren't moving this weekend. we are moving next weekend and everyone's help is greatly appreciated since we will only have like 3 hours to move before the lil lady that bought our house moves in. thx. love u all.

ps. will someone take me with them to FL next time? i've been thinking a lot about needing to get away...oh, MAE is now in my head... :o)

this is going to be a great day.

<---- hard day at the office

i'm not doing a johari cuz i know i am wonderful and i like to assume everyone else knows that as well...i don't need a johari to confirm it...or perhaps i am just scared of shattering my self identity...anyway....

OH! and there is a lady at work that sucks her thumb...no lie...i caught her doing it...

I'm going to go crazy and don't really know what to do about it (but it has nothing to do with Jessica Simpson being able to control her dreams).

Have you ever seen stuff going on around you and you start to feel so consumed by it and yet so complacent about it too...

How do you know when to intervene, when to give up, or when to just see where things take you or someone you love?

There's a lot of crap going on...and I don't know what to do about it. Maybe (and most likely) it is none of my business. I just feel helpless and not good enough to take on the world right now...cuz these people that are stuggling (whether they know it or not) are my world...and I feel inadequate to help.

**confession: I had a lot more to say...I deleted it...I'm not ready to say what I need to and You aren't ready to hear it...but soon...**

In the meantime, let me leave you with this: (compliments of Snow Patrol)
CHASING CARS
We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

it's fall. yippee.

i just need to vent for a moment...my job really sucks. i had to drop the only class i was looking forward to because "they" won't let me off! what the crap?! i've had this class scheduled for months and they knew about it and said it would be no prob to let me have the time off (tues/thurs 8-925). anywho...what am i even doing here? it isn't like i want to be doing this job for the rest of my life...oh yeah...bills. yuck. when i get rid of my bills..i am quitting and going to school full time until i finish.

pray for me. that this happens sooner than later. i need to get outta here...

happy birthday, to you
happy birthday, to you
happy birthday dear emily
happy birthday to you

i don't know what is going to happen but i do know i have to trust God cuz that is all i have to trust in at this point. meaning, my mom doesn't know the answer (and trust me, she always has an answer), my friends don't either (which would just technically be opinions anyway), and i am clueless. i think God did that on purpose...

sometimes we have no choice but to trust in God and He planned it that way...so here i go.

afterthought: what do people who have no faith trust in when they reach the point of needing something bigger than themselves (and bigger than family and friends) to intervene in their lives?